The Colossal Ex Girlfriend Crisis
by OTT Barnes
Summary: After an alien encounter gives her astounding growth, Penny uses her new power to get revenge on Leonard and Priya after being abandoned and ridiculed. A spoof of "Attack of the 50 ft Woman."
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own the show and the movie it is parodying! Ownership belongs to CBS and Warner Brothers. P.S. This is my first TBBT fan fic so don't be afraid to give your honest opinions.**

Penny was feeling low in herself for the past few months. She spends most of her days working as a waitress in the Cheesecake Factory or with her friends Amy and Bernadette, instead of hanging out with her neighbors Leonard and Sheldon. Leonard, her ex-boyfriend, has a new girlfriend, Priya , who is the sister of his friend Raj. It is because of Priya that Penny is forbidden from seeing Leonard and that makes her sad because she still has feelings for him. With her friends Amy and Bernadette away for the weekend and Priya back from India, she doesn't know what to do about it. However, it is during a fateful night that things would take a giant turn.

Penny was driving back home after an audition from out of town. As she passed the place where the boys go paintballing, a lot was going on in her mind about what to do tonight and what they might be up to, but more especially what Leonard and Priya might be doing. But her thinking halted when her eyes focused on a round, bright object. It looked like the moon, but it could not have been that smooth and clean. Whatever it was, it was coming straight at her. Penny skidded off the road to move out of its way where the object made a landing on the ground.

She got out of her car and marveled at the thing. It looked like a satellite, only larger. Steam was sifting through the door. Many sounds were heard faintly inside, mainly consisting of beeps and loud thuds. Penny was both frightened and amazed at the same time. She decided to take out her phone and took a picture of the UFO.

"Man, the boys will never believe what I saw," she said to herself. "Or will they?"

Just then, the one door on the UFO opened and a silhouette of a giant figure was seen through the foggy steam. Penny screamed and ran back inside her car, speeding back to the apartment building to tell the boys what she seen.


	2. Chapter 2

Penny was home, at last. She ran as quickly as she could to the fourth floor of the building. She knocked on the door of Leonard and Sheldon's apartment and opened the door slowly and peeked in to find Sheldon, Howard, and Raj having Thai food.

"Hey, guys," said Penny, breathing heavily. "Can I tell you something that happened?"

"Well, I barely show interest in any topics you discuss," Sheldon said, flatly. "But since it is the accepted convention, proceed."

"Ok. I think I saw a UFO and an alien."

Sheldon's eyes widen; he was suddenly interested. "Really? What did the UFO look like? What did the extraterrestrial look like? What is its motive for coming to this planet?"

"All right, calm down," said Penny. "I don't have any details on the alien's appearance. Where's Leonard?"

"He and Priya are having dinner alone," said Howard. Raj wanting to say something, whispered in Howard's ear. "Uh, Sheldon, Raj wants to know why you believe Penny's story."

"Well, I always have been fascinated by life outside of Earth as long as I can remember. I was about six when I saw Spielberg's 'E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial.' That influenced me to build a communication device similar to the one in the film. I had everything but the utility wires which, unfortunately, my mother would not let me possess, saying I would get electrocuted. But now we have aliens setting foot on Earth. Penny, where did you find the UFO?"

"Um, near the woods where you guys play paintball," Penny replied.

"Well, let's waste no time," Sheldon exclaimed. "Raj, Howard, dinner has been postponed. We are going to be the first to see alien life-forms!"

"Hang on, Sheldon," said Howard. "Nobody believed those who claimed they saw a UFO."

"Well, that's because the person whom no one believed was either a drug-addicted musician or politician," Sheldon replied. "Everyone would believe me since I am a respected member of the Physics department at Caltech with a Masters and two PhDs."

"Unbelievable," Howard said to Raj.

"Well, I really appreciate you guys coming with me," Penny said.

They all went out, and traveled far back to the exact spot where Penny claimed she saw the ship. However, there was nothing. Sheldon, who was real anxious to find the spaceship, was wandering around the area to find it while Howard and Raj were talking amongst themselves about the situation. Penny was standing, looking nervous and thinking whether or not the guys might find her crazy.

"Sheldon, give it up!" said Howard. "We're not going to find a UFO here."

"That's what the aliens want us to think," Sheldon said. "But I am not going to be fooled by an inadequate trick from their cloaking devices. Penny, do you have any photos of the spaceship?"

"Oh, almost forgot," said Penny. "I took a picture of it with my phone."

"Brilliant!" Sheldon exclaimed. "Now if you can send me a copy of that photo, it won't be long till they recognize the brilliance of Sheldon Cooper and give him a Nobel Peace prize!"

Howard took a look at the photo on Penny's phone. "Penny, what did the UFO looked like exactly?"

"Something very simple," said Penny. "Just shaped like a satellite."

"I think you mistaken the full moon in the sky for a satellite-shaped spaceship," Howard explained.

"But I swear I saw it!"

"Penny, you might be getting so stressed that you are seeing things. You've had a long day so I suggest we should just take you home, and you should get some rest. Sheldon, give it up, will ya?"

"I will not give up!" Sheldon shouted.

"Sheldon, I was wrong," said Penny.

"What do you mean?" Sheldon asked her.

"Howard's right. Maybe I was so stressed out that I might have saw the moon as a UFO."

"Well!" Sheldon said. "This trip proved to be useless. Raj, take us home!"

On the way back home, Penny was thinking to herself whether or not she might have seen the UFO. Maybe it was her strong feelings for Leonard playing tricks on her. She wondered if maybe her conscience was telling her to tell Leonard how she really feels for him. No, that wouldn't be necessary, she thought. Leonard seemed happy with Priya, so she would try to stay cheery despite all that happened.

"Hey, look!" Howard said. "There's an eclipse tonight."

Penny looked up and saw the wondrous sight in the sky. She didn't have any idea, but something about it told her that everything would turn out good for better or worse in the end. She let out a soft sigh, and relaxed.

"That's a bit unusual," Sheldon said. "The next eclipse that would appear in California would approximately be February 5, 2046." Everyone shrugged off at Sheldon's observation and continued to look at the bright ring.


	3. Chapter 3

Meanwhile, Leonard had just arrived at Raj's apartment to drop off Priya.

"Well, I had a great time tonight," said Leonard. "I'm so glad you could be able to come and spent time here in California with me."

"Me, too," said Priya. "And with this eclipse occurring, the night couldn't become better."

"I know, right? I never expected it to get more romantic than this. Well, good night baby."

"Good night, Leonard."

After coming home, Leonard found Sheldon sitting at his spot as usual, spinning a top.

"Hey," said Leonard. "How was dinner with Howard and Raj tonight?"

"It was typical," said Sheldon. "It was typical until Penny came in and said she saw an amazing sight but it turns out to be a prank like Wolowitz's Stephen Hawking prank."

"What did she see?"

"A UFO," Sheldon replied. "And just for a single moment, I thought that we would have extra-terrestrials come visit us and learn our ways and maybe probe us, though that's something I'm not looking forward to."

Leonard just nodded, and went over to Penny's apartment. He peaked in to find Penny sitting on her sofa with a glass of wine in her hand.

"Leonard!" Penny exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I just thought I'd dropped by to see how you were doing."

"Didn't Priya forbid you from seeing me?" Penny asked.

"Yes," Leonard said, doing his shrug. "But I guess it wouldn't hurt to show concern to a neighbor."

"Oh, you heard about me and the UFO?"

"Yes, I did. And quite frankly, I never expected to hear you say the words 'I saw a UFO.'"

"You don't believe me, don't you?" said Penny.

"Actually, you may need to give me the details on it so that I can decide whether I believe it or not," said Leonard.

So Penny had gone through with Leonard on everything she saw and what the others make of it. He listened and paid good attention to her and thought hard of what to say to her.

"So that's it," said Penny. "Alien comes, Sheldon the insane one believes me, but there's nothing there."

"Huh," said Leonard. "Well, Penny, I may have to say I don't believe you unless you have some hard evidence."

She handed her phone to him with the picture of the UFO.

"That's the full moon," Leonard said. "Penny, is there something you need to tell me?"

"No, just I saw a UFO. I swear I saw it!"

"Penny, I think you probably have to lay off the alcohol for a while," said Leonard, as he took Penny's glass and set it down on the coffee table. "You've had a pretty long day, and probably the stress is playing tricks in your head. I know you miss spending time with us and your girl friends are out of town but try to stay cheery for once. Go out more, find guys, and if they screw up like I did with you, try to find a solution."

"All right, Leonard," said Penny. "I'll get ready for bed. Thanks for the advice though."

"You're welcome," said Leonard. "Good night."

So Penny got into her robe and went straight to bed. After a few hours, she got up to have some water. Walking back inside her bedroom, she opens her curtains to find the face of a giant alien! She screamed, and found herself in her bed with the curtains closed. It was just a dream. Needless to say, Penny didn't sleep well that night.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, all the boys went out to play paintball like they always do during the weekends. This week, they were up against the anatomy department which mostly consisted of women and only two men.

"Shouldn't be that hard," said Leonard. "I bet they don't have the strength of a tough woman like Penny."

The battle had begun, and the guys were doing really well but they needed a battle plan. So they hid in their shed where they go in for safety.

"All right, men," said Sheldon. "Here's our strategy: Leonard, you will hide out in the bushes while Howard would distract the women with his 'charms.' While that's going on, Leonard will jump out and attack the women with great speed. Now Raj, since you cannot talk to women, I say you take out the two men in the group."

"Sheldon, I'm engaged," said Howard.

"Oh," Sheldon said. "Well, like Leonard said it shouldn't be that hard."

But boy was Leonard wrong. Everyone was pelting the boys with great concentration and fierce charging. The battle got so out of hand that Sheldon started running back far into the woods where he tripped and rolled off a small hill. After a few minutes, he finally got up and started wandering around, looking for the others. Along the path he was going to, he happened to came across a most amazing scene. It looked just like the moon, but couldn't have been that clean. Yes, it was the exact same UFO Penny claimed to have seen.

"By God," said Sheldon. "Penny was right. And the best part is I have this moment all to myself."

He walked up to the ship slowly with great anticipation as to what to expect. By now, he was face to face with the one door on the ship. So the logical thing in Sheldon's mind was to knock on the door.

*clank!* *clank!* *clank!*

"Extraterrestrials?"

*clank!* *clank!* *clank!*

"Extraterrestrials?"

*clank!* *clank!* *clank!*

"Extraterrestrials?"

Sheldon waited and waited for the door to open, but there was no answer.

"Oh, I shouldn't wait here," he said. "I should let the others know about this!"

He ran and ran, trying to find his way back to the battlefield. At last, he found his way and came across the path to the fields.

"Guys!" he shouted. "Guys! I have unbelievable news!"

Just then, a paintball hit him in the chest. Sheldon looked around to find the anatomy team looking victorious while the rest of his friends looked defeated and disappointed.

"If the unbelievable news is that we won and you lost, then thank you," said one of the anatomy team members.

Needless to say, the boys were not happy with Sheldon. They remain silent mostly throughout the entire ride back home. Sheldon, knowing something was wrong, tried to lighten the mood.

"So, guys," he said. "I know we lost this week, but remember you have your successes and failures respectively. I know I haven't been behind your backs half of the time but you're not going to believe what I have found: the UFO Penny claimed she saw!"

"Seriously?" said Raj. "What makes you so certain now? You were there!"

"I saw it in all its glory for real," said Sheldon. "And for once, I would have made an enormous discovery that could change history!"

"Yeah, that you are insane," said Howard.

"I'm not insane. My mother had me tested. Do I always have to remind you?"

They finally arrived back home. As Leonard, Raj, and Howard enter the apartment, Sheldon walked over to Penny's apartment to tell her about his close encounter.

*knock* *knock* *knock*

"Penny."

*knock* *knock* *knock*

"Penny."

*knock* *knock* *knock*

"Penny."

Penny opened the door, looking really tired from not sleeping well after her nightmare.

"Hey, Sheldon. What do you want?"

"Penny, I think you'll be pleased to hear this but I may have found the very same UFO you claimed you have spotted."

"Really?" she said, being more awake than she was.

"Absolutely," said Sheldon.

"Do you see a giant alien?" said Penny. "What did it looked like? Did the others think of it?"

"I may have to stop the whole role reversal outcome, and express my disappointment," Sheldon replied. "First, I saw no alien. Second, nobody believed me which puts me on the list of insane people who claimed to have spot UFOs. Third, I keep getting mocking voicemails. Here, listen to this one left by Kripke."

Sheldon put out his phone, and activated the voicemail feature.

"Hey, Cooper," said Kripke. "The government called. They say you should get back to their top secwet faciwity immediately."

"You have to admit that's funny," Penny chuckled. "Yeah, didn't sleep well last night. I had a dream where the alien was looking through my window. Am I going insane, Sheldon?"

"Well, I assume you are since this is something you don't regularly talk about, but you would need to be tested like my mother did to me."

Just then, two voices were heard out in the hallway. They sounded like Howard and Raj's voices. Sheldon and Penny listened real closely.

"What an unbelievable day," said Howard.

"I know, right?" said Raj. "Do you suppose they'll keep telling us about their 'close encounter'?"

"Maybe so," said Howard. "But we'll keep ignoring Mulder and Scully for as long as we have to."

Penny got offended when she heard it.

"Those jerks!" she said. "By the way, what was the deal with calling us Mulder and Scully?"

"It's from 'The X-Files,' Penny," said Sheldon. "I can't believe you're not familiar with it. I expected you to be after all the years you've known us."

"You know what Leonard's doing tonight?" she asked.

"Well, he has another date with Priya tonight, but it is nothing to get excited about."

But Penny had gotten an idea after hearing this. When night fell, Leonard was just about to go out to his date with Priya. While he was coming down the stairs, Penny sneaks to the parking lot where Leonard's car was. Fortunately it was unlocked. She climbed in the back seat and hid. Leonard arrives at his car, and pulled out to drive to Raj's apartment to pick up Priya. After Leonard stopped at a stoplight, Penny popped up in the back.


	5. Chapter 5

"Leonard."

"Gah!" Leonard shouted as Penny popped up at the back of his car. "Penny, what are you doing in my car?"

"I know it's insane of me to do this, but I had no other choice. Leonard, next to Sheldon, you know me better than anyone here. That's why I need you to take me to the woods because I am still convinced I saw a UFO! It's driving me crazy! I know you don't always believe Sheldon but you have to believe me!"

"Penny, I have no time for that now," said Leonard. "I'm taking you back home."

Just then, he noticed Penny's eyes watering up in the mirror; she was about to cry. Leonard, feeling a little sympathy for her, relented.

"Fine," he said. "I'll take you, but after that it is home for you."

They had finally arrived at the woods. Leonard got out a flashlight out of his glove compartment and handed to Penny to find the UFO. A few minutes have passed, but Penny found no trace of what she believed to have seen.

"Any luck?" Leonard asked.

"No," said Penny.

She suddenly ran off into the woods. Leonard followed her and found her sitting near a tree, sobbing.

"Penny, are you okay?"

"I'm sorry, Leonard. I'm sorry I dragged you out here for nothing."

"Penny, are you sure there's anything you really need to tell me."

"No," she replied. "I don't have anything to say now. I just need a moment alone."

"Okay," said Leonard.

Leonard walked a few feet out of the woods and waited for Penny to feel better. After a couple minutes, he heard what sounded like an excited Penny shouting.

"Leonard! Come quick!"

Leonard ran into the woods. He looked around, wandering where Penny could be. He continued to search with Penny's shouts as his only sense of direction. Finally he found her in an open space in the woods where the UFO sat on the ground right before them.

"This is it!" Penny shouted. "This is the UFO I saw!"

Leonard could only stand there and be astounded.

"Wow," he said. "This is unreal."

"I know, right?" Penny said.

Then Penny ran over to the ship as her curiosity kept building up.

"Penny, wait!" Leonard said, running after her.

Penny was now face to face with the UFO; she was getting more and more excited. Leonard caught up, and tried to pull Penny away from the UFO to keep her out of harm's way.

"Just calm down, okay," said Leonard. "I believe you now. You just need to relax."

"I can't help it, Leonard," said Penny.

Just then, the sound of rustling leaves and snapping branches were heard. Penny was starting to get a little afraid, and so was Leonard.

"What is that?" said Penny.

"I don't know," said Leonard.

As the sound grew louder, the sound of giant footsteps were heard to reveal a giant alien life form!

"Oh my God!" Penny screamed.

She and Leonard were terrified at the monumental figure. It measured to about fifty feet in height. It had humanoid characteristics but with light green skin. Its dark eyes stared at the two, but especially at Penny. A smile suddenly spread across its face, and started to come after the two. Leonard started to run while Penny stood there, screaming.

"Penny, don't just stand there," he shouted. "In any situation like this, you should run!"

The alien finally reached Penny. It extended its arm to her which made her faint in its hand. Leonard saw this, and felt he had to do something about it. He ran towards the alien and jumped on its leg.

"Leave her alone," he shouted as he climbed up the skinny leg.

The alien looked down and found Leonard crawling up. It flicked Leonard off on the ground. Leonard, who apparently was defeated and out of ideas, ran away from the alien. He reached his car and sped away from the woods, filled with anxiety.


	6. Chapter 6

The alien looked at Penny with a wicked, and yet perverted, smile on its face. As it held her in its hand, glowing lights lid in its other hand. It waved its glowing fingers on the unconscious Penny, and with a single gentle touch on her body, she was glowing with a bright golden hue. Just then, the alien noticed in the distance a car coming by. It hesitated. The extraterrestrial laid Penny on the ground, went inside its ship, and activated its camouflage function because it was the quickest option it had.

Whose car was it coming straight towards the woods? Did Leonard finally came to his senses and decided to save Penny? Sadly, no, but it was just as good. Turns out it was Raj's car. Apparently Sheldon wouldn't stop bothering Howard and him about the UFO. So they reluctantly brought themselves to the woods.

"Ok, we're here," said Raj, as he parked the car. "Now could we get this search over with, and get back to the apartment?"

"Certainly, men," said Sheldon. "I would need a flashlight first."

"In the glove compartment," said Raj.

Sheldon got it out, tested it, and went out to search for the UFO and its owner. Howard and Raj, meanwhile, stayed behind to express their annoyance.

"This is getting way out of hand," said Howard.

"I know, dude," said Raj. "Every word that comes out his mouth now has something to do with aliens and spaceships. Like when I asked him for a saucer for my drink, he was like, 'Did you say saucer, as in flying saucer? Does this mean you saw the UFO?'"

"Say, you still got the paintball guns?"

"Yeah, they're in the trunk. Why?"

"What do you say we sneak up on him and pelt the hell out of him?"

"Yes!" Raj exclaimed.

They got out two paintball guns and started to look for Sheldon. They sneaked very quietly, so that they could make it the perfect ambush.

"Sheldon?" Raj shouted. There was no answer.

"Sheldon, where are you?" Howard shouted.

"Don't find the UFO without us!" Raj shouted.

Just then, Sheldon's voice was heard. "Howard! Raj! Come quick!"

They ran along in the direction where Sheldon's voice was heard. As they came near where he was, they jump out with the guns only to find Sheldon near the comatose Penny.

"Oh my God," said Howard. "What happened to Penny?"

"I don't know," said Sheldon. "I can't get an answer out of her because she's unconscious. I can't wake her up. Watch."

*pat* *pat* *pat*

"Penny?"

*pat* *pat* *pat*

"Penny?"

*pat* *pat* *pat*

"Penny?"

"Maybe Penny was right," said Howard. "Maybe she did see a UFO. I mean, look at her! She's glowing! Who knows what the alien might have done to her. We better take her to the hospital."

"Great idea," said Sheldon. "But we don't want to catch whatever it is that's radiating her. Good thing I brought gloves. I'm sorry, but there's not enough for you two."

"I think we can risk it," said Howard.

"By the way, what are you doing with your paintball guns?"

As they stood for a moment, Raj whispered in Howard's ear.

"You don't need to whisper," said Howard. "She cannot hear you."

"We brought our guns to defend ourselves from the alien threat," said Raj.

"Oh, of course!" said Sheldon. "Glad you guys got my back."

"Yeah," Howard said, softly and sarcastically.

So Sheldon and Raj picked up the luminous Penny into the car where they drove as fast as they could to the hospital.


	7. Chapter 7

Leonard arrived at Raj's apartment, still full of anxiety. He ran up the stairs, and knocked the door frequently. Priya answered the door, and smiled at Leonard.

"Hey, sweetie," she said.

"Listen to me," Leonard said, quickly. "I have no idea how these things came to be, but I think my life is in danger and so is yours. We need to leave town as soon as possible."

He ran inside the apartment while Priya stood, looking very confused.

"Where can I find the luggage?" Leonard asked.

"Leonard," said Priya. "What do you mean your life is in danger?"

"I really can't explain," said Leonard. "You really wouldn't believe me."

Just then, his cellphone rang.

"Oh, no," said Leonard. "I don't know what to do! I don't know if I could answer it now!"

Leonard slowly slid the bar on his phone to answer whoever was calling him now.

"He-Hello?" Leonard answered, nervously. "Whoa, Sheldon, slow down. What's that? Oh, my. I'll try to be there. Bye."

Leonard hung up, and turned to Priya.

"False alarm."

"What do you mean?" Priya asked him.

"Um," said Leonard. "I thought that our lives were in danger because I keep getting these threatening phone calls. Turns out it was all Sheldon's doing. It was another one of his bazinga pranks, but that's not important right now. Penny's in the hospital."

"Oh, no," said Priya. "What happened?"

"I think you need to see to believe," Leonard replied.

The two arrived at the hospital. They found Sheldon, Howard, and Raj outside of a biohazard room where Penny was inside, still comatose and still glowing. Also inside were doctors in hazmat suits testing her.

"Oh my God," said Leonard and Priya. "What happened to Penny?"

"We found her in the woods like this," said Raj.

"This is the doing of the thing from another planet!" said Sheldon.

"Sheldon, shush," said Howard. "Don't get everybody in a panic here. This is enough."

Just then, one of the doctors came out of the room and faced the gang.

"We don't really know what the meaning behind this glowing is," the doctor said. "She's still in comatose, and while this is new to us we cannot risk it. In all my years as a doctor…"

"Yes, yes, we know," said Sheldon. "This all new to you."

"What was Penny doing out in the woods," Priya asked.

"She claimed to have seen a UFO," said Raj. "We didn't believe her except Sheldon. He wouldn't stop bothering us about it so we drove out where we found her in this radiated state. But the big question is how she got here; we didn't see her car so someone must've taken here there."

"Well, I have to confess," Leonard said. "Penny snuck into my car because the whole UFO issue was driving her crazy. I dropped her off, and lost her. I looked everywhere for her, but it seems like you guys found her. Thanks, I appreciate it."

"Leonard, what do you mean by this?" Priya asked, looking suspicious.

"Uh, let's talk in another room," said Leonard.

They moved to another location in the hospital where they could talk in private and not build up any suspicion from the others.

"Okay, here's the truth," said Leonard. "I drove Penny out to the woods, we found a giant alien, I left here there, I'm a bad person, okay?"

"Leonard, I think you're being delirious," said Priya. "Nobody believes the whole myth of aliens and flying saucers."

"But I saw it! And now, Penny's in a coma because I put her in danger! I have to be at her side!"

"I think you're being too concerned about this whole situation," said Priya. "Penny has her other friends to look after her. Tell you what: let's go on our date and later at Raj's apartment…"

She whispered in Leonard's ear about doing arousing acts that they've never done before. Leonard was starting to become aroused by all the things he was hearing. Priya smiled devilishly at him.

"What do you say?" she asked.

"Let's waste no time," Leonard said quickly.

He told the others that he and Priya were going on their date and would be home late. As they went off, Sheldon's suspicion was building up.

"I am becoming more suspicious at these turn of events," he said. "I believe Leonard doesn't want us to discover the UFO, and wants all the glory for himself. Howard, Raj, let's go back to the woods and beat him to it."

"Fine by me," said Howard.

"I like mysteries, so count me in," said Raj.


	8. Chapter 8

Sheldon, Raj, and Howard drove all the way back to the woods. As they got out of the car, they all huddled together to form a plan.

"Okay, here's the plan," said Sheldon. "We'll get the paintball guns out of the trunk and use them to defend ourselves. If there's the first sign of an alien, you two charge while I witness."

"Wait how come you don't get to fight," Howard asked.

"Because I have to take photos to show the entire world that there is life on outer space," said Sheldon.

"Nobody will believe you," said Raj. "Let me take the photos. I am an astrophysicist, and this may provide a good opportunity to get back on top."

"Please, Raj," said Sheldon. "You've had none much to do when you came and work for me. Like I said, most people won't believe musicians because their sighting of a UFO was the result of their drug-inducing hallucinations, while politicians….well, they're hardly honest nowadays."

"Look, forget it!" said Howard. "Let's just find the UFO."

They all got out the paintball guns from the trunk of Raj's car. Then they sneaked quietly around the woods to see if they could find the UFO this time. Then they heard a noise and noticed fog in the distance. It sounded like computer sounds. They all went into the direction where the sound and fog were seen and heard. And then finally they found themselves where they found Penny with the ship right in front of them.

"See?" said Sheldon. "I was totally right!"

"Dear lord," said Howard. "I've seen anything like it."

"Look, the door's open," said Raj. "Let's explore it."

"Yes!" Sheldon exclaimed. "Let's go inside! Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, you're about to make history!"

They walked up to the ship with extra caution. When they were inside, they were astounded. In a corner was a giant monitor with a keyboard. But the biggest thing they noticed was all around the walls and ceiling were poster pinups of various women from earth, mostly celebrities from America.

"Look at all these posters!" said Raj. "There's Angelina Jolie; Cameron Diaz; Megan Fox; Gillian Jacobs; Nicole Kidman…this looks like the inside of Howard's room. I'm guessing the alien just wants to get laid."

"So this visitor is essentially an extraterrestrial Wolowitz?" Sheldon said. "Well, that's disappointing."

"Guys," said Howard. "My room doesn't look anything like this right now; I'm engaged, remember? Second, an alien version of me? That's just ridiculous."

Sheldon then notices a diagram on the wall of the ship. On it, there were two pictures separated by a line. The first picture had an outline of a giant alien right next to a normal sized female earthling, while the second picture had the outline of the alien with the woman being his size.

"Guys, take a look at this," said Sheldon.

"My God," said Raj. "That alien is planning on kidnapping beautiful women and growing them to his size."

"That means in just a few moments, Penny will become a giantess!"

Suddenly they heard giant thuds on the ship. The boys froze for a moment. The giant alien saw them, and was angry to have intruders in _his_ ship. The three cowered before the towering being.

"No!" said Howard. "Don't squash us! Don't turn us into giants! We'll be ostracized; removed from society, though I wouldn't mind being a couple inches taller but still!"

"Men, now is the time to attack," Sheldon said.

They all remembered that they were armed and started shooting paintballs at the alien. The alien groaned in pain, as he was being pelted. He was getting angrier which was a sign for the others to move out. They all ran out of the ship and continued to fight in the open space.


	9. Chapter 9

Back at the hospital, Penny was starting to come out of her coma. She was moving around, groaning, until finally she woke up with a scream. She then noticed the room she was in, and her glowing appearance.

"What am I doing here?" she asked herself. "Why am I glowing? Where's Leonard?"

She got out of her bed, and stormed outside of the room. One of the doctors noticed her walking away and tried to stop her.

"Wait," said the doctor. "You can't leave! You're not all well."

"Where's Leonard?" she said.

"Mr. Hofstadter said that he was going to take Ms. Koothrapali home," he replied.

"Priya?" she exclaimed. "Oh, that little rogue is dead to me!"

Suddenly she had a funny feeling in her stomach. She fell to her knees and groaned.

"What's happening?" she said.

Then there was a rumble all around the hospital. The doctors, visitors, and patients started to become worried. Penny was suddenly growing taller and taller! Her gown tore off and she busted through many floors in the building as she grew, till finally she stop at 50 feet.

"Oh my God!" said Penny. "I'm huge! I am gonna get that geeky bastard for leaving me! But first I need some clothes."

She grabbed two sheets from the hospital and used them as a top and bottom. Then she broke out of the hospital where she began her rampage to find Leonard and Priya. People began to notice the monumental female and started panicking throughout the streets.

Meanwhile back at the woods, Sheldon, Howard, and Raj were still battling the giant alien. The alien was covered in paintball spots all over on his body. He continued to pursue the three as they fought and fought. Then the alien turned his head and noticed Penny in the city. He smiled, and ran off to get acquainted with her.

"Hey, where are you going?" Sheldon shouted.

"Look!" said Howard. "It's Penny! She's now as tall as the alien!"

"Funny," said Raj. "She looks like something out of a '50s Sci-Fi B movie."

Back at the city, people were continuing to run around the streets. Penny was making her way to her apartment building because she assumed that Leonard was there.

"It's okay, people!" Penny said to the panicking crowd. "You're not in danger! I'm just after one person."

Then she noticed some guys underneath her looking up.

"Hey! Don't look up my skirt!"

The guys jumped a little, and ran off. Then Penny saw in the distance the alien coming towards her. He finally made it and was now face to face to her.

"What do you want?" she said.

All the alien did was said "I love you" in sign language. Penny got offended, and kicked the alien in the groin. He fell on his knees and groaned from the pain. Sheldon, Howard, and Raj witnessed it.

"What happened?" Howard asked.

"The alien is defenseless and in pain," said Raj. "It was beauty that kicked the beast."

"What do you suppose she's going to do next?" Sheldon asked.

They heard Penny shouting Leonard's name, and they pretty much knew what her motivation was.

"We better get moving!" said Howard. "She'll tear up the city until she finds Leonard."

"And then she'll tear up Leonard," said Sheldon. "That reminds me, I need him to invoke the Godzilla clause in our roommate agreement. I know this time it's a giant female and we are not in Tokyo, but this is close enough."

They all ran into Raj's car and sped into the city to stop Penny's rampage. The alien got up slowly and started to make his way back to his ship. As he came near his ship, he turned to the city with tears in his eyes from the pain and waved at Penny. Penny just scoffed and flipped the bird at him. The alien went inside his UFO. The satellite-shaped vessel took off, implying it may never come back again.

Raj was speeding through the city avoiding any people that might get in the way. They then saw Penny coming towards her apartment building. Raj parked his car, and they all got out with their paintball guns and walked with caution towards the giantess. Penny bent down a little and looked through the window of Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. Leonard and Priya weren't there.

"I'll shoot a couple of paintballs at her and distract her while you two go warn Leonard and Priya," Howard said to Raj and Sheldon.

"Leave it to me," said Sheldon. "I am a much better shot."

Sheldon walked up to the unsuspecting Penny and aim his gun at her back.

*ptoo* *ptoo* *ptoo*

"Penny!"

*ptoo* *ptoo* *ptoo*

"Penny!"

*ptoo* *ptoo* *ptoo*

"Penny!"

Penny turned around and looked down to find the three, looking nervous and shaking.

"Guys, what are you doing?" she said.

They hesitated for a moment until Sheldon said, "Run!" And so they did. Penny came after them and grabbed them in one hand. As she moved her hand full of nerds to her face, Sheldon and Howard were begging her not to do whatever the giant monsters did in the sci-fi movies. All Raj could do was squeak quietly. But all she did to them was placing them on top of the apartment building.

"That'll keep you occupied," she said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find your little friend and strangle his little neck."

And she stormed off back into the pandemonium to Raj's apartment.

"We better stop her!" said Howard.

They all ran to the door and tried to pull it but it was locked. They knocked constantly on the door, trying to get somebody to come and open it. A forty-something man opened the door, looking confused at the three.

"Thanks, Mr. Archer," said Sheldon.

"Um, you're welcome Sheldon," said Mr. Archer. "But what was with all the constant knocking?"

"We have no time!" said Sheldon. "We have to move out!"

"That giant blonde," said Mr. Archer. "Is that Penny?"

"Can't explain now!" Sheldon shouted, as he and the others ran down the flights of stairs.

Meanwhile Leonard was sitting down on the sofa in Raj's apartment, waiting anxiously for Priya's surprise. He was completely unaware of Penny's growth, and the chaos in the city. Priya stepped into the living room, wearing a nighty. Leonard started to ogle her, and she just grinned at him.

"So are you ready?" she asked seductively.

"Bring it to me," said Leonard.

They started making out on the sofa. But while that was going on, Penny reached the apartment and look through the window to find the two.

"You rat bastard," she said under her teeth.

She began to lift up the roof off of the building. Leonard and Priya got startled by the sound and rumble.

"What's that?" said Priya.

"I don't know," said Leonard.

Then they heard Penny shouting out Leonard's name. Finally, Penny has torn off the whole roof. The two were frightened. Priya hid underneath the coffee table for protection, but Penny dropped the rumble onto the table which crushed Priya under. Leonard was devastated by the sudden death of his girlfriend. Penny then extended her arm and grabbed Leonard.

"Penny, please!" Leonard shouted. "Put me down! I'm sorry I left you there! Please understand!"

Sheldon, Raj, and Howard finally arrived at the apartment and found the giant Penny with Leonard in her grasp.

"She's got Leonard!" said Raj. "My apartment! She's tore up my apartment!" He ran up the stairs to his apartment to see how much damage was made.

"I know Leonard is pretty short," Howard said, "but he looks like a doll in Penny's hand."

"Only it's for real and not some cheap effect from a '50s B movie," said Sheldon.

Raj rushed back over to Sheldon and Howard. He looked grief-stricken. "My sister's dead!"

"Who knows what Penny will to do to Leonard," said Howard.

"Look! There's a telephone pole in the direction they're going!" Sheldon exclaimed. "I could shoot a paintball to that pole, creating a voltage that'll send Penny back and maybe fall over."

"Let me do it," said Raj. "I feel like this duty should go to me."

Raj stepped forward near the telephone pole, but kept a good distance away from Penny. As he got out his paintball gun, he aimed with a determined look in his eye.

"Priya, you shall be avenged!"

With a single shot, the paintball hit the voltage box on the pole creating very bright electric shocks. The boys were almost blinded by the bright sight, while people observed the sight from the city.


	10. Chapter 10

"Gah!"

Leonard jumped with a start. He looked around to find himself in his bedroom. He got up and look outside his window. It was morning and everything looked fine.

"It was all a dream," he said, after letting out a sigh of relief.

Then he heard ringing from his laptop. He went over and opened it up. Priya was calling through Skype; she was still in India. It was around night time there, and she looked disturbed.

"Hey, baby," said Leonard. "What's up?"

"Leonard, I have been doing some thinking," she said, "about how our relationship is going. And personally I think we need to talk about it."

"Uh, okay."

They had a long conversation about the ups and downs of their relationship; how Priya cheated on Leonard with an ex and how he almost did but didn't mean to; how he cannot escape Penny since she is his neighbor; and how strict Raj and her parents are about them dating.

"So honestly I think we need to break up," Priya said. "I cannot force Penny to move away, and despite your success in physics your race is a big issue with my parents. I mean no offense, and hope you understand."

"I understand," Leonard said, though feeling uncertain. "If you and I can't think of anything to fix this relationship, then screw it. I guess I'll wish the best of luck to you. Bye."

As he closed his laptop, Leonard began pondering about this whole thing.

"Leonard!"

He jumped a little when he heard his name called. It sounded like Penny's voice. He was worried, thinking that his dream might have been real. Then there was a little knock on his door, and Penny creaked inside. She was at her normal height which relieved Leonard.

"Leonard, I'm sorry to bother you at this time."

"No, no. You didn't wake me; I was up already. What is it that you need?"

"Well, some of your laundry got mixed with my laundry," Penny replied. She handed to him a couple of his boxers with superheroes on them.

"Oh, thanks," said Leonard. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, you could say that," she said, "though I had this crazy dream last night."

"I bet it wasn't as crazy as mine. What did you dream?"

"Well, I dreamed that I saw a UFO and nobody believed me except for Sheldon because, you know, he'll believe anything. So I came to you because you know better than anyone here, next to Sheldon. Then we saw the UFO and this giant alien. You left me with the alien and I passed out. Then I wake up in a hospital and grew to about forty-five inches, I think. I started looking for you and grabbed you, while Sheldon and the others tried to stop me."

Leonard just stood there with a shocked expression on his face.

"Leonard, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Penny. It's just that this is some dream you had. But I assure if that happened for real, I'll never leave you alone with an alien or any other threat."

"Well, thanks anyway. So what was your dream?"

"Um…nothing any colossal such as yours; it was just Sheldon battling a giant dragon in medieval times and you were a fair maiden in danger and I tried to rescue you while Sheldon fought hard."

"Well, that's interesting and sweet," said Penny.

An awkward pause followed after.

"Do you have any coffee?"

"Yeah, I'll make some," said Leonard

**Thank you for reading! Please review! Tell me what you think of it!**


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